But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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