dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
