the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize