there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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