Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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