I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
