he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
