im about as happy as oj after his trial
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
