Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
