As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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