wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
