Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
