so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Randomize
