I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
