I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
