would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
