i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize