so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
