Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
