Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
