Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
