After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
