we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
