Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(212): View more from New York

Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK

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(813): View more from Florida

I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?

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(575): View more from New Mexico

We need to talk about our relationship.

(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes

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(416): View more from Toronto

Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.

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(757): View more from Virginia

I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house

(713): View more from Texas

So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?

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(219): View more from Indiana

I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.

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(765): View more from Indiana

I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened

(574): View more from Indiana

I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.

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