All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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