Fine. I'll sleep in my office
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
