I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
