Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
