If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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