Yo dont text me then not text me
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
