google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
