Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
