He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
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