You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
