I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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