You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
