I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
