She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
