She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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