I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
