didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
