I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
