Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Randomize
