I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
