i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
