You're earring is so big in my mouth
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
