so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
