I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
