finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
