I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
