i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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