i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
