i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize