It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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