i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
