He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
We were destined to go to rehab together
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Randomize
